The Vienna Blues (or why it sucks to be american)

I have now pass the half way mark of my time in Austria, and Vienna. It is still hard to believe that I am here, but I feel I have adapted well to the Austrian pace, the city, and generally making sure I don't get ran over by a pissed off driver (which is hard to avoid sometimes).

If you were to ask me if I wanted to be here, I would probably respond with a yope. Yes and no at the same time. The truth is I love this city, it has history, culture, character, life, and everything one could want in a city. However, the german language still is a problem. I feel like my study aboard experience is hampered by this fact. I honestly wish I would have started german as soon as I knew I even thought about going to vienna.

It is a bit strange to think that I am in the City I so wanted to be in for the longest time. I wanted to be in a germanic country since I could remember, I was always drawn towards Germany and Austria. I was drawn to Vienna when I became invested in music. Now that I am here, I wonder why I made a huge deal about it.

I feel like an experiment when I talk to Austrians. I feel they can smell the american on me (or probably see it on my clothing). I feel like its mandatory to apologize for the Iraq war, and my voting record is always a topic of discussion. They really like Obama here, I wish Americans liked Obama as much as most Austrians. I really do, however, enjoy the fact that all the Austrians I have gotten to talk to in coffee shops (which isn't a large portion mind you) have been some of the smartest people I have ever talked to. I really try to be as open as I can with these Austrians, and they seem to appreciate.

I feel like the biggest problem, or the biggest reason why I spend most of my days depressed, is that I left a lot of unfinished business left in Colorado. I feel like this Vienna trip is a pause in me dealing with fundamental difference with who and want I am and want to be. I guess I shouldn't worry, but I am.

The worst problem is that I am trying to cram too much human interaction in at one time. I always want to be talking/doing things. So I spend a majority of my time on Facebook. Maybe I should stop this.

I really feel like I want a reason to come back, but I don't have it just quite yet. Austria and I are just on formal visiting terms right now.